I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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