Where did you get a picture of my penis
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
