that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
