Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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