Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
