I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
