Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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