Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
