Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
