i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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