i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Me too!
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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