I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Terrible idea I love it
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
