but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
