Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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