Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
