The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
