My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
