she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
