I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
