I wanna bring you to show and tell
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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