I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
