The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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