Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
