i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize
