i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
worst night to have a conscience
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
