i think my tv is drunk
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
