i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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