He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
