Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
