I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
