And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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