Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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