i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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