how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
