Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
