someone get that fucking seahorse.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
