I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize