Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
