Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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