I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
