I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
