Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
