He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
