if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
