I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
