it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
