Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
