I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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