Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
