My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
