So drunk its hurt
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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