Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
