I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
