need another drink. this is the easiest way
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
you never un-have a 4some
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
