dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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